My wife recently started working for a multinational company, a job which she informed me would require international travel. Well, the time came for her first trip. It was hastily put together at the last minute, giving her less than 24 hours notice. She forwarded the flight information to my e-mail so I would know. Well, at the last minute, she claimed her bosses changed the flight to have her leave some 12 hours before her original departure time (the evening before her original flight). I thought it a bit odd, but went along with it anyway even though she never e-mailed me the updated flight information. Long story short, the time of her original flight, I called the airline and told them I was concerned my wife may have missed her flight and they told me she was indeed on the flight. In fact, there wasn’t even a flight at the time she claimed she would be traveling. She even called me, claiming to be in another country while she was right here in our hometown at the airport, no less than 20 miles from our home. I confronted her about this lie and she admitted to it. Her reasoning was that she wanted to attend a party with her co-workers and stay at a female co-worker’s home, which would make things easier for them since they were traveling together in the morning. She claimed she did not tell me because I would be jealous and paranoid (which I am prone to). I understand that, but why lie about it? Why would my wife create such a huge, complicated, involved lie in order to stay in town an extra night? I know what I think, but I want to know what you think. Thanks!
Here are some reasons I suspect an affair.
– I have been struggling with ED, which is frustrating to both of us.
– In the past she was so upset about it that she told me, "I will cheat on you."
– She rarely wears her wedding ring, citing that it tends to slide off her finger in yoga class. She says she takes it off before class and forgets to put it back on.
– She stays awake in front of her laptop a few hours after me nearly every night, claiming to be working.
– She’s very secretive and protective with her cell phone and laptop.
– She never leaves work on time.
– After an argument months ago, she changed her MySpace profile to "divorced" and never changed it back.
– The night of our last argument, she claimed she was going to be out with a girlfriend. I called the girlfriend at midnight and she said she had not heard from my wife that day. My wife later claimed she was at a bar, having a beer by herself. Oddly, no charges were ever made to her debit card.
That sounds extremely fishy. Even if the story she gave you is true that she would and could make up a lie that elaborate should be very troubling. If this is something she does often you might want to hire someone to look into it for you.
I would also recommend marriage counseling, she needs to learn the importance of honesty in the relationship and if it really is that your are overly jealous or paranoid you need to learn to trust. Unfortunately both your jealousy and paranoia and her lying are going to feed of one another and continue to purpetuate the problem if you don’t fix it soon. Good luck!
Tags: airline, Co Worker, Co Workers, Departure Time, E Mail, First Trip, Flight Information, Hometown, International Travel, job, last minute, Multinational Company, traveling, Wedding Ring, Yoga Class
I would think: Who was she meeting with? Or who is she screwing around with? But that is just me personally.
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yeah that dont sound right at all. i would be concerned.
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Well if you are indeed a jealous person, maybe she wanted to skip the whole fight thing, I am not saying she is right though. I would check her phone records or something just to see if there is any risky business going on.
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i smell a rat sniff sniff. it doesnt make sense that she would lie to that extent even if u are jealous prone but just watch it
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Because you get jealous and paranoid. Until she gives you a reason to be jealous and paranoid, you shouldn’t be. If she’s cheated on you, well then, thats another story.
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i think thats odd and don’t know why she wouldn’t tell you. I think it is kind of a big deal that she lied, are you sure she really was at her friends house and not somewhere else?
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i think she lied because she felt like she couldnt be honest with you about what was goin on!????/ you said you get jeleous, so maby she felt she didnt want you to FREAK out or something?
tell her, all you want is the TRUTH, so you can TRUST HER! because both of you need tRUST or the relationship cant work!
i bet she will love you for being honest, and telling her the truth! you do trust her, its that she lied! and you dont like lies!
tell her you will work on not being so PARANOID AND JELOUS and if you work on that, she needs to be HONEST with you about her DOINGS! then it will work i bet!
good luck
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I think something else was going on as well. No way I’d be happy with that explanation.
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in my book it sounds like you need to grow some balls and go with the flow… just my 2 cents
That kinda business DOES make lots of last minute changes as you will learn
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She’s lying, sneaking behind your back, and slept over night someplace that you don’t even know where or with who…I hate to point out the obvious man, but it sounds like your wife could be having an affair.
EDIT: Wow, I’m sorry this is happening to you, but yes, with all of that information I can almost guarantee that she’s having an affair. You need to take some action soon. Do what you feel is best for you.
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She sleeping with someone and its not you.
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Those that have nothing to hide….hide nothing! Your wife lied to you and is still lying to you….I suspect there is another guy in the picture somewhere….
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I think it is just as your wife said. If you are prone to jealousy and she felt it would just end in a big argument and her not going and staying home and being angry and resentfull, then she just decided to take the other way out. More than being worried about the lie, I would be worried about the underlying causes of it. Why would she have to lie? Why would she feel you wouldn’t just let her have a night out with the girls and then go on her trip? Maybe she is tired of going through this with you and wants you to be able to let her have some time for herself once in awhile. I am not trying to be mean. I was in a marriage like this. I lost some weight and wanted to go out to dinner with my female cousin and my mom, and he got upset and jealous about it. This happened many times. I got so resentful because he always took his time out. He went anywhere he wanted when he wanted. But I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere. If you want your wife to be able to be honest with you, then you need to be able let go and know that she is going to be ok when she is away from you.
Ok. now that you added the extra details I would be suspicious. It sounds like she doesn’t want to be with you or married anymore. She is being too secretive.
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If she has given your reason to think cheating in the past then yes that is what I am thinking BUT if you have accused her several times in the past over nothing then she could be telling the truth and just didn’t want to deal with you being jealous and paranoid.
I would just TRY to sit back and watch evreything pan out. If you keep your mouth SHUT and just watch and listen you will either find that there is someone else or you are being paranoid. If you are just being paranoid then you need to back off or you will push her to it.
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well understand both sides of the story. and one of 2 tings is happening. 1. she is cheating on you or 2. since you have been prone to this behavior before maybe she already knows how you would be so yes she lied to you about it. its up to you to deciede. my ex wife was like you too. and I lied to her bout things a few times cuz she is so clingy. like if i got off work early at 200 i would not come home til around 500 normal time. just cuz if i told her i got off early she would make me come home and i would have to deal with her stuff. try ignoring her. just act like u dont care what she does. not in a mean way but dont be clingy. women hate that. so after a while of doing that if she doesnt come around then you know she is cheating and your love is lost.
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She lied because you were not going to have her sleep over. This is what happens when there is a lack of communication and understanding. How about just telling her to just leave her correct itinerary next time so you will have the information in case the plane crashes. Then never question her about her whereabouts again.
Do you ever ask yourself why she took a job with so much travel, so far away? (I think she feels stifled and needs a little air).
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I would not be concerned at all,i would be getting a divorce and moving on to my new life.
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That sounds extremely fishy. Even if the story she gave you is true that she would and could make up a lie that elaborate should be very troubling. If this is something she does often you might want to hire someone to look into it for you.
I would also recommend marriage counseling, she needs to learn the importance of honesty in the relationship and if it really is that your are overly jealous or paranoid you need to learn to trust. Unfortunately both your jealousy and paranoia and her lying are going to feed of one another and continue to purpetuate the problem if you don’t fix it soon. Good luck!
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Well, from your question, I got that yes she lied, but you also proved her point in saying that you are jealous, paranoid by calling the airline to "verify" she didn’t miss her flight. Come on now….you called to verify her story. Not to see if she missed her flight. You even stated before that part that you were "Suspicious" by saying you thought it a bit odd.
I can see why she would lie even about something so simple….because you have trust and jealousy issues. she was just trying to avoid an unneeded fight over nothing.
The real question is….why are you so jealous and and not trusting of your wife?
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Well it depends on what point you two are at. I was married to a jealous, controlling man and for ten YEARS put up with his abuse and it is abuse. I never cheated but eventually did start lying to avoid all of the accusations so I could start doing innocent things that to him were a big deal. It would avoid the confrontation and inevitable fight. Eventually, I filed for divorce. I am now happily single and able to spend the night at a female co-workers home if I want to, or a mans’ for that matter… There is no one to have to lie to anymore.
So, really you need to examine yourself and your relationship for the answers.
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I am not your wife, but it sounds to me that there is something more to that then what she told you. I have to say that for a simple reason like that one she came up with a very complicated web like that. At the same time if you get as upset about little things like that then maybe she felt like she had no choice. You both might want to sit down and talk about all of this and see if you can come up with some kind of deal where the two of you are happy.
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Yep, based on what’s in your Q&A, I’d be worried. Actually, I’d be furious.
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How do I say this … she is laying and cheating on you? I do not think you are paranoid, I just believe that you deep down know the truth and that is why you are paranoid. All this is BS: wedding ring, going out to bar all by herself, sleeping over at the female friend…. that is not normal in any marriage and she cannot find anything else but to claim that you are paranoid. No one should put up with that much garbage. Do yourself a favor and list to your instincts.
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Guess you’ll have to decide if you can accept cuckolding or want a divorce.
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http://www.nerve.com/dispatches/ma/cuckold/